Saturday, June 09, 2007

mademoiselle 6/09/2007 12:45:00 AM

propinquity with death








my health's failing me recently.
and my condition deteriorates as day passes.
im no asking for attention here.
just bawling my hearts out.
of what I truely, deeply feel.
I woke up late today for work.
felt so sick but yet dragged my ass off bed.
cos i cant be so irresponsible to leave my colleague ALONE in the boutique.
on my way to work,
text-ed mom about visiting the specialist.
and through some miscommunication, like always;
i broke down.
not being that hysterical but yet again
was my first time crying in darn public.
crying in front of Azreen&Tina made me felt so embarrassed.
my heart sank when thoughts of how much a burden I am to them.
and for the fact i was in fear of death
as there might be side effects of the strong dosage of medication
there MIGHT be risks.
so im here gambling my life away.
mom&dad discussed about it.
yet im left untold of what their decision is.
alvin went thru the RISKY stage. but am i able to?
somehow, i missed my beloved grandma.
maybe she's taking me away with her; soon.
i had enough of such life torment.
make no difference for my existance.
Bye.











P.s. Thanks for being around ace:) nice having u as my friend.
and i wonder. what's friendship really is about.
I'd wish he was around when my tears streamed down my eyes like the heavy downpour.
but all i realise was. Im all alone; by myself.

Labels: smell of death

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?Mademoiselle Rachel
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