Wednesday, December 27, 2006

mademoiselle 12/27/2006 02:35:00 AM

u nv know how much u meant to me.
cos there's so much left unspoken.
and all u see was just the surface.


We aint in talking terms again
i chatted with him last night. till ard 3am.Things were so "happening" and unexpected.
but i love that.
in the end.i still gt hurt by the way he speaks.
i know that "issue" aint a joking matter.
neither am i treating it jokingly.
but u have to be patient.
i don't wish to commit myself into something i have no confidence in.
cos im afraid of unbearable consequences.
i don't wana hurt you. cos i love you.
Thats why i requested for time.to think thru it carefully. i wan that "issue" to be permanent.not something temporary. u get what i meant? and how sure are you to fully commit into this relationship? every single day been looking forward seeing you. but the response i gt makes me feel so unworthy of ur love. i was tear-ing since last night.
cos u nv know how much u'd hurt me unintentionally with words you've used. i was clutching on every single hope each day. but for once, u made me feel love, the next second u shattered my heart. u jus make me feel hanging in the air. not knowing what to do. but im sure i love you. u wana know the reason why i delayed the answer till this SUNDAY? cos im waiting for GOD's reply. and i'd received it. but its a matter of how i express my emotions to you. i was still hoping that you could accompany me to the doctor tml. and yet i was disappointed. you don't even seemed to care. and my girlfriends even bother to bring me to the doc. i need your love. i want you around. but all these jus seemed so oblivious. i know you would read my blog. and all these are from the bottom of my heart. it might irks you. or it might shock you. i jus cant be bothered. cos im feel so stuffy inside.jus need to clear my chest off. bottomline is.

Je t'aime mon cherie. m'amour.

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?Mademoiselle Rachel
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