Saturday, September 30, 2006

mademoiselle 9/30/2006 09:59:00 PM

sometimes. i wish i wasnt alive
.
thanks maddy for being my listener.
i've skipped almost the whole week of school.
don't ask me why.
i feel so bedridden. locking myself up in my own room, own house.
i'd nv wanna go out in tis condition.
NEVER.
like wad maddy said, i have to overcome this barrier distracting me from my studies.im losing out so much.
i nv had a chance to express how i really feel.even to my close ones.
and im so thankful to have someone like maddy there for me.
i can really confide in others. cos they cant really understand what i am going thru. neither i wana ruin their spirits with my whines and rants.
the agony im going thru is not much difference compared to hell.
im serious.
but i guess this would make me stronger.
im losing my self esteem, self confidence like the old RACHEL always had.
being so self conscious and paranoid bout myself being a FREAK?
thats so not RACHEL.
and realising humanity aint something pleasant.
cos people out there should learnt to be compassionate instead of exchanging glances at people with disabilities and make em feel so uptight.
i guess this is humanity. and frankly speaking, it sucks.
for now, i'd jus pray for the best and hopefully my condition would improved by next week and i feel comfy going school.
i'd have to catch up with my art work. bet ms cheryl must be mad at me for makin empty promises saying that i'll be in school for art yet absent myself for the whole darn week.
i wana let the whole world know~the RACHEL u used to know will be back.
SOON.
till then,
.
i need some time alone.

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?Mademoiselle Rachel
I'm always sleepy
I'm always hungry
I'm always whining

Not to miss, I drool & Snore while I sleep. Piglet. And I think
I procrastinate so much I think I'll never die :)
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