Saturday, March 04, 2006
| mademoiselle 3/04/2006 11:42:00 PM |
ouh great. he is leaving for overseas trip.
and my eyes are filled wif tears
i hate loneliness.
i guess nette is ryte. whn ur wif that person u love,
dependency wud be smth reali unpleasant and
makin u feel vunerable whn he is not ard.
i cant tink of aniting ryte now. but him leaving me.
da feelin of being left al0ne suck.
especially whn u need that person so much
or shud i say smth pleasant lyk, ouh great. he is leaving
no interruptance in my life anim0re! to make myself feel better.
nah. i d0esnt work for me. bcos dats so unrealistic.
my eyes are so blur-ish now i cant see da screen. but somehow i jus got tis determination to continue bloggin and pourin out my sorrows.
he hold grudges at me for not sharing stuffs wif him. did he ever share his stuffs wif me? did he ever make me feel l0ved? a sense of security is absent.
which obviously is da main factor of not sharing tings wif him.
he callin other gurls affectionately. wad d0es dis suppose to mean?
he d0esnt wana meet often. what dis means too?
i believe if u reali l0ve dat pers0n, u wud huf da urge to see her and hug her so tightly and nv let go. but no. all dis aint happening. why? bc0s he dun love me?
im doubting so much about him. cos he d0esnt seems to bother. im tired too. can i not bother? i wish to. however blame me f0r being so soft hearted. i dun feel like moving on. cos dis d0esnt seems goin aniwhere and i guess being his gurl sure add on to his stress and burden. including sorrows. im reali sorry baby maybe im jus a jinx to u and i reali wish not to love u animore, to exchange for ur happiness and joy. but all tis while, i jus love u so much. and i duno why, but after all tis unhappiness caused, im reali emaciated. i cant move on animore. fadin away.
hurt. shattered. torn. heartbroken. dilemma. confused. tears. tired. dead.
?Mademoiselle Rachel
