Sunday, March 19, 2006
| mademoiselle 3/19/2006 06:15:00 PM |
no calls, no msg no nothin yet
thou he is supposed to be back by t0dae.
cant contact him. m0bile was switched off.
t0dae wasnt reali a pleasant day. rainy, lethargic day
sigh~
heard s0me bad news frm nette. was rather upset. ah nvm. dun wish to go into details.
slept till 1 pm t0dae. complete all da h0usech0res and proceed to scho0l w0rk.
s0 guilty i didnt reali study during dis march h0lidays.
especially art. which ms cheryl expects to see smth d0ne.
sigh~ dis march h0lidays reali sucky mann. c0s i cant reali settle d0wn.
g0t l0ads to tink. i feel dat as time passes, i huf gr0wn into a lady which is given responsibilities to shoulder up0n. and s0metimes,
i get real tired of it.
ver0n called recently regarding co0kie's procedures of ad0pti0n and sterilisati0n. its jus keep me thinkin all day l0ng. financially and mentally.
dats 0ne. next, my family. i feel dat as i gr0w older, i huf to depend on myself. its n0 l0nger da mummy and daddy st0ry. and i guess i finally realise why adults wanabe like us.
c0s children simply huf n0 w0rries.
my m0tivati0n of sc0ring well in 0's seems to be g0ne. and im reali s0 tired to m0ve on.
i reali feel like giving up. but. i cant.
i cant aff0rd to ruin my future. c0s i wana live my life. wher i huf da spending power
and pe0ple lo0k up to me. and not being despised like n0w.
my future seems so mild. i dun even n0e wad to achieve and wher to head. thou my aunt say i stil huf time to ting. da ting is, she d0esnt even feels da pressure im feelin n0w.
living in a competitive s0ciety, wher pe0ple are selfish,
m0m uses vi0lence to express her feelins, n0t being l0ved and cared f0r,
reali makes me so vulnerable, emaciated till da limits.
well. tings stil d0esnt change.
every0ne wish to be free fr0m sufferings, which in turn received m0re fr0m desires.aint n0 l0ve in dis s0ciety
?Mademoiselle Rachel