Friday, September 23, 2005

mademoiselle 9/23/2005 02:13:00 PM

jus finished my sandwich.. decided t0 bl0g... s0metime ii feel dat i rather n0t bl0g c0s u cant reali reveal ya own true feelins in ya bl0g as it wud be viewed by l0ts of ppl.. i had al0ot of tings inside miie which are inexplicable and thou i wish to sae it 0ut i cant..i dun wish t0 let ani0ne n0e.. even my bessie.. but my 0nli c0nfident is my tuiti0n teacher.. im very glad i cud p0ur my s0rrows 0ut to him.. i feel much beta.. h0wever tingys dun seEms to be right.. s0me0ne wh0m i wish to f0rget or shud i sae f0rgotten huf c0me back int0 my mind..i hate him f0r g0in in and 0ut of ma heart.. hurtin miie s0 much..i 0s0 dun0 hu t0 blame.. fate? g0d? myself or him? ive been keepin myself busy in 0rder n0t to remind myself 0f him but tingy jus dun g0 da wae i wan it t0 be..dr0wning myself in s0rrows yet he stil d0esnt n0e h0w hurt im.. maybe t0 him.. im nuttin and with0ut miie.. life stil g0es on.. i dun wish my illusionic dream t0 fall apart, to end.. i wish t0 c0ntinue but he is backin 0ut.. y cant he jus fulfill tis little dream 0f mine.. is tat reali t0o much t0 ask for? my bessie alwaes wud tell miie dat nuttin is g0od bout him and askin y m i s0 obssessed wif a t0ad lyk him.. ppl jus dun0 h0w i feel and sae tings which might seEms hurtful t0 miie.. i dun mind wad ppl sae c0s i n0e he is da 0ne for miie.. he reali meant da werld t0 miie.. saying s0 much yet he cant see.. im hurt.. sad.. sorrows..t0 miie..he is s0meone veri unique and earns my lurve..i guess da rejecti0n f0r da 3 guys is 0so bc0s of him.. he changed miie.. i appear str0ng but d0es ani0ne n0es wads reali happening inside miie.. im jus obssessed by a lively spirit.. realistically.. im dead.. reali dead.. he is jus lyk my pillar.. with0ut him da whole building wud collapse..shed a tear last nite again thou promising myself i wudn do it again but whn i saw his pic in my hp.. tears immediately streamed d0wn my eyes..he 0nce asked miie b0ut to wad extent i lurve him.. and i simply replied.. t0 an extent dat i wud even give u my virginity.. maybe i was wr0ng and i n0e ppl seeing tis wud critisize miie.. but ppl.. tink bout fallin in lurve.. being so obssessed wif ya mate dat u turn blind to everyting.. its a inexplicable feelin dat u wud hufta feel it yaself.. well.. i dun wish t0 sae much either c0s n0 matter wad i sae history wudn repeat itself.. i jus wish him da best and wan him t0 n0e h0w much i lurve him.. till i die...............

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?Mademoiselle Rachel
I'm always sleepy
I'm always hungry
I'm always whining

Not to miss, I drool & Snore while I sleep. Piglet. And I think
I procrastinate so much I think I'll never die :)
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